Masturbation is a completely healthy and necessary part of human desire and needs. Regular masturbation provides many emotional, sexual, and physiological benefits. But despite the benefits of masturbation, it’s often viewed as an activity for single individuals. Even amongst fairly liberal individuals, the general understanding is that masturbating is something you do if you don’t have a partner. And if you masturbate within a relationship, that somehow invalidates the strength of your relationship or love.
But that view is a remnant of our incredibly repressed sexual history and legacy. Masturbation has been vilified for decades and centuries. People across various periods and cultures have come up with numerous mental and physical techniques, such as guilt and religion, to prevent people from simply enjoying their bodies. In the middle of the 20th century, research from sexologist Alfred Kinsey and other psychologists shed light on the reality — masturbation is completely normal and even healthy.
In our socially and sexually liberated age, masturbation is seen as perfectly normal. But they’re not entirely seen as essential, even now. People in relationships still feel shy about engaging in masturbation, especially solo masturbation. Some people even prevent their partners from seeing them masturbating. And others may view their partner’s desire to masturbate as a personal failing, as if masturbation were an indication of a lack of sexual fulfillment. But we must realize that masturbation is essential for everyone, even within relationships.
This article provides a detailed guide to masturbating in a relationship.
Understand that masturbation is healthy
Before you discuss the subject of masturbation with your partner, you need to understand that masturbation is healthy and essential. When you masturbate, your body releases dopamine, which instantly elevates your mood and makes you feel good. And once you orgasm, your body also releases oxytocin, which alleviates stress and anxiety, keeping you generally happier. And when you’re happier and more fulfilled, you will also have a better relationship with your partner.
Masturbation also encourages you to be mindful of your body, mind, and sexual desires. It allows you to connect with your inner sexual desires and better understand your body’s constantly changing rhythms. Since you don’t have to worry about anyone else’s perception or pleasure during masturbation, you can focus solely on your personal pleasure and desires. And if you better understand your body, you can also improve your sexual experience with your partner.
Masturbation improves your overall quality of life, improves your sexual, physical, and mental wellness, and also improves your sexual experiences with your partner. Once you understand that, you will realize there’s no need to feel shy or apprehensive about masturbating in a relationship. In fact, one may even argue that regular solo masturbation can also help your relationship in the long run.
Be honest with your partner
Once you understand that masturbation is normal and essential, you must also communicate that with your partner. You need to be open and honest with your partner about your sexual desires, including your desire to masturbate solo or together. You might feel a little self-conscious about talking about masturbation with your partner, but it’s an essential conversation worth having. You should also prepare to answer your partner’s questions, especially if they see your desire to masturbate solo as a personal failure.
Inform your partner that your desire to masturbate doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy having sex. It simply means that you also like to enjoy your body solo and that masturbation can be healthy for your relationship. Furthermore, openly talking about masturbation will also give your partner the ability to voice their sexual desires and concerns. It can be an opportunity for you to have an honest conversation about your sexual desires, which is always good for a relationship.
Give yourself some “me” time
Individuals in relationships often forget how to enjoy some “me” time. Even if you’re in a couple, you’re also an individual, and you must not lose track of that. There are several reasons why you may want to masturbate solo, even if you’re in a loving relationship. Perhaps you have a higher libido than your partner, perhaps your partner isn’t around, or maybe you just want to rediscover your body and explore it without anyone else around. Besides, knowing what you want can also improve your sexual experience with your partner!
Masturbate with each other
Sex is amazing, but it can also require some effort. If you and your partner have extremely busy lives, perhaps because you have recently become parents, it might be hard to find time for sex. But mutual masturbation requires less effort while still being a deeply intimate act. Masturbating together can help you better appreciate each other’s bodies. You can lie down face to face, looking into each other's eyes, occasionally touching each other, and then take care of yourself.
Demonstrate how you masturbate
You can also make a performance of your masturbation. Ask your partner to sit back and watch you touch yourself. It will help them better understand how you like to be touched, keep you in control, and also add a sexy dimension to your sexual experience. You can also add some role play action — perhaps you’re an erotic performer and your partner is only allowed to look, not touch. And then your partner can do the same!
Masturbate yourself or each other with sex toys
If you want to take your masturbation to the next level, you can also introduce sex toys into your relationship. Sex toys allow you to explore different sensations and add new dimensions to your playtime. If you’re adding a sex toy to your relationship, consider Namii’s 2-in-1 clit sucker and vibrator, a cute, silicone sex toy that releases sonic pulses to vibrate your entire clitoral structure and help you achieve powerful orgasms!
If you’re open and honest with each other, masturbation can add new dimensions to your relationship and sexual experience. Whether you’re enjoying some solo time or mutual masturbation, it can help you and your partner lead better and more fulfilled sex lives.
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